How is it possible to be miserable in May?

Today started off okay but quickly went down hill! I have issues with knowing what date it is and headed off to a meeting first thing without double checking. Getting to the venue to be told there wasn’t a meeting, I then got a panicked phone call about the wrong trainers… so I rushed back home to make sure the wrong shoes didn’t mean a work experience day was cancelled.

Allium with an unpronounceable name!
Bush that came with the house!

I got myself into a bit of a state to be honest and although seeing my own black trainers heading off to a day in town should have made me realise it was all going to be okay, my inbox about the meeting beckoned and I sent off an email before I left… which of course set off a trail of emails when I got back which left me questioning my capabilities. Not helped by a news alert discussing the prevalence of early onset Alzheimer’s.

Salvia ‘hot lips’ smells like Italian seasonings!

Cue the floodgates! I am meant to be keeping a record of my feelings to see if I am depressed; well today put me in the highest anxiety category! Life post pandemic is not being kind to me and despite picking up some more veg seedlings today I am unsure that I have the energy to do all in the next day or so as I am meant to be working. We don’t get paid for ill health anymore so I cannot have time off. I didn’t get paid for getting Covid, ironic really given my job. Add that to the things getting me down!

Californian poppies

It will be better now. I’ve been out and snapped garden loveliness!

Salvia ‘love and wishes’

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