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I am a mum who works part-time. Diagnosed nearly 16 years ago with MS, I had a cancer scare when a cyst on my breast, which wasn’t cancerous, caused precancerous cells to be found. 2018 became an annus horriblus because the recommendation involved major surgery and made me effectively more disabled than I have ever felt before. Not even able to lift a shovel or push my lightweight lawnmower, I shall try to put my creativity into planning and finding a way to make my garden more accessible and pleasant for a fair-weather gardener. Two years after my personal bad year came the Covid 19 causing 2020 to lockdown and meant more time to ruminate on what it means to be an active member of society when everybody has shut themselves away. A weird year and I have tried to get a job. But it’s been hard. Rethink, rethink, rethink. All suggestions welcome!