Lovely it is out there! My neglected garden is calling me at the moment, but I am not able to up tools as I am still in pain. My MS has not been about pain much over the twelve years but it came and smacked me hard this week. I try to find ways around it if I can but stopping the things that cause it has to be the first thing I try.

And I am contemplating where I go now… finding a job doesn’t happen overnight unfortunately and although people say not to give up a job till you have a new one, that is easier said than done. I had persevered through the hottest and wettest days and knew that colder days were going to make the pains worse… I see my plastic surgeon on Friday and will be very careful how I word ‘pain’ as the pain my surgery still causes me also have been exponentially increasing because I’ve been contorting into new shapes to cut or prune. I gave up doing their exercises after six months so I’m sure he will say the exercises were for life! I’ve started Yoga…

The garden is messy and although the sun came out I am not feeling able to do the stuff needing done. Brown bin is pretty empty but I don’t know where the chainsaw is – and that is one of the jobs – nor do I want to play dodge the poop with the rake and pull up leaves in profusion. It’s November nippy and life needs focus I am lacking. I may have acted hastily to stop working but it’s not worth being miserable for a wage. I gave it a shot but so much wasn’t falling into my head comfortably or proving to be a dream occupation. I bet my consultant who was so enthusiastic in August would have lasted less time than me – we do jobs for a reason and I’ve not found my reason yet.