Life is weird, right? Sometimes I have magic energy in my head! I imagine my garden will look like on the telly, or as good as the gardens on tv belonging to celebrities (who have the budgets for employing gardeners) and are featured talking about the gardens they plant with their kids… I tried that and I failed miserably. I’ve take back responsibility for their patches and given myself a headache. Weeds!

I tried Veg Up Front with all good intentions and we have had a few meals but the slugs and snails benefitted more than we or our friends have. I’ve cleared some of the gone-to-seed shoots today and added to the compost.

I was even gardening through the rain because I was in a zone. I’ve cleared lots of weeds and no overhanging hedges to try and avoid the garden looking terrible at the end of the month, because I am still working you know. It’s so difficult to find enthusiasm to work five days a week when I though it would be three, and to find a way to be sympathetic for something everyone wants over but find enthusiasm I must.

I even contemplate whether one day I could afford a gardener to do the stuff I am starting to hate. Thorny bushy weeds keep popping up and regardless of having super new gloves I lose them as easily as I buy them. I put down my good secateurs and find them rusty weeks later. It’s a summer holiday funk. It’s raining now, this isn’t August, for goodness sake. It’s done this all year – the weather and plants are all wrong!

I’m still spending too much trying to pay off debts too quickly – it’s a tricky one getting used to money not having a set day each month to arrive. If you’ve been on benefits you will know this but it’s on a four-weekly cycle and my pay is on a slightly different one, but similar, and it’s not the last days of the month because of the crazy calendar and it’s nonsensical 28- , 29-, 30- or 31-day system. I should be used to it shouldn’t I? Well I don’t find it that easy in my neuro-befuddled condition to get used to new systems or rules. It adds to my list of things that make my MS harder to bear. Or is it being a half century old? Haha!